You've probably read last night's blog, and you've probably slept soundly under the impression that the whole thing would just sort itself out. It hasn't, by the way.
Alright, so I looked at the text at 4am. It said,
WAS THAT ABOUT ME?
So I, in a demonstration of real genius, replied:
I thought I was safe. I had denied the whole thing, and it was 4am. By the time he woke up, there was no way he was going to want to bring it all up again. EASY. I could just go back to being my normal, non-caring self and everything would be fine.
But that daft sod, who should have been asleep, replied IMMEDIATELY.
COURSE IT WAS, JEALOUS, MATE?
He has taken to calling me 'mate' recently. Boys, eh?
I then replied:
NO I AM NOT JEALOUS. AND IF YOU DON'T MIND I WOULD LIKE TO GET SOME SLEEP. I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW.
I don't have a date tomorrow. Or, indeed, ever. Excellent. Let's just PUSH HIM INTO THE ARMS OF OTHER WOMEN. What a brilliant plan. Well done me.