Monday, 23 January 2012

Keep In Touch

When you’re developing a relationship with someone new, you have a wonderful opportunity to set the tone for the entire thing. If you do this properly it could well be the making of it.

Being foolish, however, can lead to all sorts of problems.

You will remember, I imagine, that boy who broke my heart a couple of blog posts ago. For the purposes of this thing, we will refer to him as Stretch. He was (and still is, because I am yet to attack him with anything) remarkably tall, and that is as good a reason as any for a nickname.

At the beginning of our relationship, which wasn’t a particularly long time ago, the communication between the two of us was CONSTANT. Usually, I am not a massively texty person. I have friends who I have known for years who have never received a single text message from me, and others who have only received one when I’ve needed a favour. Quite frankly, I can usually do without the hassle.

This was obviously different, but I suppose most new couples text like that, don’t they? Non-stop. Smiling and giggling away at their phones. You’ve seen them at train stations and stuff, I’m sure. Takes a lot of effort not to push them off the platform, doesn’t it?

ANYWAY, since we broke up, I had sort of been expecting our texting style to change. I thought we might text less, at least, and perhaps distance ourselves a bit. That didn’t happen. In fact, for the most part, nothing has changed.
Well, that’s not true. Once or twice a day I have a breakdown and tell him I never want to speak to him again, but other than that we’re still pretty much the same as we’ve always been.
Or we were. Until this weekend.

(I would like to direct you to the first paragraph of this blog. It is a very wise thing that I’ve said there. Very wise. It applies directly to what I am about to say.)

For the past couple of days, the communication between us has been fairly minimal. In all honesty, I haven’t been handling it well. There’s a little voice in my head telling me I’m overreacting and that he is a single man now – perfectly entitled to his own life and to talk to (or ignore!) whoever he likes.
BUT ACTUALLY if that’s how he wanted things to be, he could have instigated that at the point of our break-up. He had the opportunity to completely rewrite the rules of our relationship, but he chose not to.

I am of the opinion that you can’t text someone constantly for weeks on end, and then reasonably expect them to sit back and accept that you just can’t be bothered anymore. You can’t expect them to assume that everything’s ok and to leave you to it without some sort of explanation.

If you have demonstrated to someone that you will never let a text message go unanswered, and then go off-radar for so long that the poor unstable sod (read: me) sends you twelve messages in a row – only for you to IGNORE THEM COMPLETELY - I don’t think that’s ok.

I will not be made to sit here and feel like an abandoned little psychopath because someone got a better offer. And I won’t be told that I can’t be upset about it, because I can. And I am.

x