Monday, 12 March 2012

Ten More Stupid Things

Remember in January when I did that post (inspired by the incomparable Vanessa of Nightmares & Boners) about stuff I’d done to impress boys? No? Well, go and read it. I’ll still be here when you get back.

What I didn’t say in that post was that I had a really difficult time narrowing my list down to just ten.

So, in the interest of (almost) full disclosure, here are Ten More Stupid Things that I’ve done to try and get someone to go out with me. Or, in some cases, to convince them to continue going out with me.

*unnecessarily dramatic pause*

10. Dyed my hair pink. (Quite recent. I won’t lie. Obviously I have learned nothing.)

9. Pierced my lip.

8. Pretended to be a political activist, ultimately attending some protests that I didn’t entirely understand or agree with.

7. Became a vegetarian, despite previously surviving exclusively on variations of chicken in breadcrumbs.

6. Started smoking.

5. Became vegan, despite an utter dislike for most vegetables.

4. Cut my boob-length hair into a bob because I didn’t look edgy enough. (A waste of time, obviously, because it would take a lot more than a haircut to make me look anything approaching edgy.)

3. Went on a five mile hike in the Lake District on an empty stomach, wearing improper footwear and a full face of makeup. (By the end of it, I was a limping, melty-faced mess.)

2. Memorised the entire history of ska music.

1. Spent three weeks worth of my food budget on stuff for a romantic picnic, effectively disregarding my own wellbeing so that he would think I was whimsical and adorable. Sorry about that, feminism.