Thursday, 9 August 2012

The Last Boy Who Upset Me

This blog curses relationships.

So I’m not even going to MENTION my current situation other than to say that things are fine.

Let’s leave it at that and not start giving anyone a nickname that will ultimately doom whatever it is we’ve got going on.

Instead, I think we should have a word about the last boy that I declared feelings for on here.

Doughnut, we've called him. (Reasons withheld.)

As first dates go, ours was good.

The rest of the relationship – or whatever it was – was not as easy. We fought almost constantly and we made each other miserable. But even now, weeks after our relationship crumbled into disrepair, I am still driven wildly jealous by the mere thought of him moving on.

Frankly, I thought he was amazing and there was a lot about him that I admired. Even as someone with a propensity to fall hard and fast, I can honestly say that I have rarely been so quickly overwhelmed by someone before.


On our second date, referencing an excellent blog post that I once wrote, he asked me what I was going to change to impress him. Foolishly thinking that I was enough for him, I answered “I don’t need to change anything!” His reaction was nothing less than stone-cold disappointment. He expected, I think, that I would be bending over backwards to remain in his favour and that’s essentially what our problem was.

I wouldn’t tiptoe around his issues any more than he would tiptoe around mine, and he didn’t like that. He wanted more from me than he would have ever freely given. He wanted someone who would fit nicely into his life without disrupting it or making things complicated.

It was never going to work.


But I’m mostly ok now.


EDIT (20/03/2014): I was just running around fixing some formatting and it hit me that people reading this for the first time or maybe out of order may get a little confused. So, SPOILER ALERT, Doughnut and I made up. Everybody is still as ill-equipped as they were, just in a much more cohesive and enjoyable fashion. With that in mind, I'm not going to delete anything because the bad bits helped get to the good bits.