I hope you had a good Christmas.
Mine was quite nice, thanks for asking.
On to more important matters.
HAPPY MY BIRTHDAY EVE!
Tomorrow (the 29th) is my birthday. My twenty-fifth birthday.
I will be spending the day being sober, single and depressed. Just like last year.
Not much else as changed either, so - to save myself some time - I'd like to direct you to the thing I wrote for my twenty-fourth. Here it is.
Rather upsettingly, everything still applies.
Anyway, as we're quickly leaving the small portion of the year where I am allowed to make wishlists - having been cursed with such a ridiculous birth date - I have decided to make the most of it. And also to assist those of you who have yet to buy me a present.
Things I Would Like For My Birthday:
1. A baby sloth.
2. To be a guest on Dr Phil.
3. An otter enclosure in the garden.
4. A spider-proof house.
5. A 'The Wesley Crushers' tshirt.
6. A platypus or a hedgehog.
7. Longer hair.
9. My own sitcom.
10. All the Maltesers.
I will wait eagerly by the door, dear readers.