Happy Valentine's Day.
I suppose you’re wondering how such a vibrant and attractive woman is able to find the time to write a blog post on this of all days.
WELL, let me tell you, I have been asking myself that very question.
Some of you may be aware that I am actually involved with someone. In the loosest possible sense. More than one person, arguably. So, I suppose I could have spent Valentine's Day with SOMEONE if I had wanted to. Probably.
That said, why would I want to break the tradition of a lifetime and actually spend Valentine’s Day with a boy? Because, at the grand old age of twenty-five, it is now almost amusing that this occasion passes me by so reliably every single year.
Like I've said before, I don't hate Valentine's Day. I actually think the whole thing is rather sweet. My problem, really, is with all the other days.
It's a bit like when, at Christmas, people go on and on about how we should be spending more time with families and having a bit of Christmas Spirit all year round. APPLY THIS TO TODAY. Do you really need a specifically sanctioned date to do a romantic thing? No, of course you don’t.
People get romance wrong anyway. They think it's all about flowers and declarations. No.
I, for example, was once bowled over by a a trip to Red Hot Buffet in Manchester.
I suppose what I am trying to say that romance is not about grand gestures. It's about little things that make your tummy flutter when you think about them and about making your feelings known. If flowers and chocolates are how you choose to express yourself or how you would like your significant other to express themselves, then that's fine. But it should not be reserved for one tiny grey day in February.
As my little gift to you, I will now treat you to the Top Seven Most Romantic Moments Of My Life That Do Not Involve Valentine’s-Specific Activities. Not a flower in sight, I promise.
(To avoid upsetting any current girlfriends of the boys I mention - because apparently that happens a lot now - I'm not going to tell you who was responsible for any of the following. But, rest assured that you have read about them all previously.)
7. The time someone hijacked a third-floor flat on campus that was directly opposite my Psychology lecture theatre. Then, on the front-facing windows, wrote “I Love You” in pink post-its. Before killing the whole moment by attacking me with actual eggs.
6. The time someone drove for two hours to buy me some biscuits.
5. The time a boy downloaded, and listened to, Taylor Swift’s entire back-catalogue because I decided it was a relationship requirement.
4. The time I was surprised with an overnight trip to a hotel that had been my favourite as a child. Nothing says ‘love’ like the world’s best breakfast.
3. The time I was kissed in a train station by a boy I had been fighting with for three months. A moment which was sadly ruined by my ridiculous purple hair. The kiss itself was outstanding, and the evening that followed was, essentially, the only enjoyable time we have ever spent together.
2. The time a boy wrote a Christmas song for me after we broke up. Not to get us back together, but merely to express an ongoing affection that would not be ruined by our traumatic separation. Or so he said.
1. The time someone wore a Spider-Man outfit to a party that was not specified as 'fancy dress' because, on the previous evening, I had complained that I was never going to get THAT KISS.
All dead nice, innit?
Basically, DO MORE ROMANCE, ALL THE TIME.
But, also, I hope you enjoyed Valentine’s Day. Even if you were by yourself watching Crimewatch like some of us.
(Note: When I compiled these - which took no time at all, because those things were all pretty memorable - it became glaringly obvious that I am remarkably easy to please, romance-wise. I know. It came as a shock to me too.)