I'm a uk size 16.
Big boobs. Small waist. Massive arse.
THE INTERNET HAS JUDGED MY BODY TO BE UNACCEPTABLE.
On Sunday I wore a cropped vest. LET ME BE THE FIRST TO TELL YOU THAT I LOOKED CRACKING. My waist is not bad to look at and the fact that it is covered up so often is a tragedy. The bits surrounding it are a bit wobbly, but I think that's okay because MY BODY IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
I posted a photo online because a) I'm vain as hell and b) the occasion of me getting dressed and putting make-up on is so rare these days that I feel it should be documented.
(Note: The photo is no longer there because I have been shown the error of my ways.)
Some people reblogged my naked stomach to regular ol' fashion tumblrs. This was exciting. Some other people reblogged it to fat fashion tumblrs. Also exciting.
I started to feel quite smug and popular, which is exactly how stories of my downfall usually start.
IT DID NOT GO WELL FROM THIS POINT ONWARDS.
By studying commentary on reblogs and by referring to the messages sent directly to my tumblr inbox, I ascertained that many people thought that I would benefit from weight loss and hair extensions and also that they felt that it was their place to tell me.
This was to be expected. Tumblr is full of children and psychopaths.
However, what I did not expect was the response from people who thought that I was NOT QUITE FAT ENOUGH.
It was at this point that I became upset.
Several plus-sized blog owners - some of them self-proclaimed activists who refer to their friends as allies and think that any store that does not stock a size 36 is somehow working against them - had begun questioning why I was even on the fat pages.
Some of them got rather personal.
These women, it transpires, do not want to play with me. I am not fat enough to join their club because I can shop wherever I like. Apparently meeting society's criteria for attractiveness (by however narrow a margin) means that I don't understand (actual quote) "the struggle".
WELL READ BACK. I'm being called too fat, too small and also someone said that my hair was stupid. This is not what I wanted from my Sunday.
Basically, fat people, if you're trying to tell me that the average big-mouthed shouty person in the street is making some kind of distinction between a size 16 and a size 24, you are hideously misinformed.
We're all fat.
We've all had it shouted down the street or whispered on a beach or said by a stupid ex-boyfriend.
STOP BEING SO ELITIST.
Because, congratulations, you're now as awful and bullying as the girls who told you you were too fat for the thin pages. HOPE YOU'RE PROUD, BODY POSITIVITY.