Allow me to apologise.
I've been avoiding your calls and ignoring your texts.
I've crossed the road to avoid a conversation.
I even ducked down behind the bananas last week at Tesco. That 'I Love Laura' tshirt you were wearing might have been a bit much.
I know you want me to say I've missed you, but there's something you should know...
ANOTHER PROJECT HAS HAD MY PEN.
(Nothing exciting though, everyone. Just my dissertation.)
It doesn't mean anything to me, I swear.
After next week, I'll never see it again.
Take me back.