Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Ex-Boyfriends and their UNWANTED OPINIONS

I am in the worst mood of my LIFE today.

I’m just going to copy and paste some emails, if that’s okay.


So, I was just about to go to sleep last night when I received this message from an ex-boyfriend who has definitely been featured on this blog and who just HAPPENS to have recently moved in with his new girlfriend.

As a disclaimer, I think this was possibly provoked by my accidentally favouriting one of his tweets when I was trying to see what his new girlfriend looked like. Maybe he thought I ACTUALLY LIKED SOMETHING HE SAID WHICH HAS LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED, and if that is the case, I’M SORRY. 

Oh, I am so angry.


I never stopped having second thoughts about us. Do you think you made the right choice?

That was shortly followed by this:


I worry about you. Here you were loved and admired and now you’re barely tolerated. I check up on you once in a while and I’m always given cause to be concerned about you.

I ignored both messages. Particularly the first one, because WHO CONCLUDES THAT THEY MADE GOOD LIFE DECISIONS WHEN THEY ARE THINKING ABOUT THEM AT 3AM?


In answer to those emails, I present the following statement:

I could be in a relationship that requires me to SET MYSELF ON FIRE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AT 7.22AM and I would still feel as though I made the right choice. Please save your concern for your live-in girlfriend.



Saturday, 10 May 2014

Small Talk

I am simply not wired to deal with the societal pressure to make small talk with strangers.

I don't even make small talk with people I LIKE.

I have sat mere metres away from people I love - in the same house or flat or room - for HOURS and DAYS without feeling the need to say a single word to them and all the while I have heard nary a peep from them either. Why? Because we are comfortable in the knowledge that we are as impressed by each other as we will ever be.

Comfortable silence.

The kind of silence that says, "I'm happy you're here, but nothing either of us says at this point is going to be more important than the game you are playing or the book I am reading. Please let me know when you are hungry."