Saturday, 2 August 2014

A Final Word

Just under two years ago, I got a pixie cut to distract a boy I was sleeping with from the girl he was in love with. Six months later I dyed my hair brown because he liked brunettes. A year later, I dyed it purple because he'd slept with someone and couldn't stop talking about her blue hair. The way I looked became a costume.

Just under two years ago, I starved myself out of three stone after a boy defended the girl who called me fat. The boy later slept with someone who weighed two hundred and forty pounds and bemoaned the fact that I struggled to eat. So I relapsed into bulimia to make everybody happy. Merely functioning became a performance.

Just under two years ago, a boy accused me of 'being all over him' because the girl he was in love with couldn't touch him. She had a boyfriend, you see. So I backed off. Months later he accused me of making him feel ugly and worthless because I'd become distant. Affection became duty.

Please do not let a boy who doesn't care about you become your world.
They do not deserve it.
And you deserve more.